When you don’t have the time — make the time
Small words, big advice
Often, we feel we don’t have the time to do all the things that we think we need to do. All the priorities, demands, and to-do’s lists floating in our heads are enough to cause our brains to burst into flames.
Other times, the best advice we receive comes from an unlikely source in the most casual of settings that could easily be forgotten in any other moment in time. I remember one of those moments very well.
In college, one of my courses required some lab activities outside of class time. Walking into the lab one afternoon to complete my assignment, the only other person there was Julie, one of my classmates. We quietly nodded a greeting to each other and then settled into our separate corners to work on our assignment.
Julie and I were both in the teacher education program. Since not many people shared our major, we had most of our classes together. That was about the only thing we really had in common.
Julie was a woman approximately in her late 30’s or early 40’s who was married with kids and decided to return to college for her degree. Although she was a nice person, our interests outside of the classroom were very different.
After an hour of studying, I took off my headphones to catch a break. I noticed Julie had also removed her headphones for the same reason. We started some small talk, just to break the awkward silence. That allowed me to learn more about her.
I listened as she talked about her husband, who worked full time, as well as her three kids and all of their activities. I heard about their house and yard and all the tasks that entails, on top of her being a full-time college student like me.
Julie wasn’t complaining at all. She was just talking about her life and all the things that go on in her household, things that would eventually describe my own life. But as a 21-year old “kid”, still clueless about the real world, I just stared at her in awe and wondered how in the world she kept up with it all.
I finally asked her “How do you have time to do everything?”
She gave me a polite, but serious look and replied, “I make the time.”
“I make the time.” It sounds so basic, yet so profound. Julie indirectly gave me an eye-opening life lesson in prioritization. She helped me realize if something is truly important to you, then you will find a way to make it happen. It was a major paradigm shift for me, and suddenly, my own issues seemed so trivial.
Julie needed to complete the lab that afternoon so she could get home in time for her kids to return from school and have dinner ready that evening. I needed to complete that same lab so I could meet my friends at the local college pub for multiple shots and beer chasers.
My biggest decision that night was determining how much I could drink and keep my next-day hangover to a minimum. Julie’s decisions that night were on a vastly different scale and routinely impacted more than just herself.
I have no idea what happened to Julie after graduation, but I am sure she was a damn good teacher. I am also sure she has no memory of our conversation that day. But that one small piece of advice at that random moment made an indelible mark that I remember to this day.
All of us probably have a memory of a small tidbit that someone told us that stuck with us for some inexplicable reason. Maybe the reason Julie’s comment resonated so much was my subconscious mind reminding me that it would soon be time to grow up and accept the responsibilities that come with it.
I sometimes wonder if someone from my past recalls a casual comment I made that they took as great advice, but that I have no memory of saying.
That is the biggest lesson for all of us. Words matter, even the small ones. We may never know if something we utter could be the best advice someone else receives. So, make those words count.
